Tori's Blog...

Love & Champagne
- writings on relationships and living your best life -

A long relationship doesn’t mean you should marry him
For much of my previous long term relationship, people would ask me when I was getting married and when I[...]
A Short: Study your partner’s mother, his relationship with his sister
Anyone who’s had a session with me knows that when it comes to generational, familial, or ancestral trauma, I’m wild[...]
So, you like to date bad boys?
There are some relationship tales that seriously beggar belief - the ones that have you sitting open-mouthed, as a client[...]
Don’t date someone who thinks it’s cool to be a dickhead
I went on a date once with a guy who, when we bumped into a friend of his, thought it[...]
4 Habits for a long term relationship
Long-term relationships are all about establishing good habits, both as an individual and as a couple. If you’ve got a[...]
Why are you really single?
There’s a term used in my line of work called secondary gain. If there’s any situation you find yourself stuck[...]
When love hurts, how to start again
Like anything in life, relationships can go exactly as we would like them to, or they can present us with[...]
Want a long term relationship?
No one has an ultra clear vision of the future and trying to pretend otherwise can consume energy that’s better[...]
How to get over your ex
I know a woman who didn’t want the man she was with. She was barely home, their sex life was[...]
In love but bored of the sex? Here’s what to do.
Expressing your sexual desires in a relationship takes a lot of confidence and delicacy, but discussing what you find alluring,[...]
4 Ways to learn from your relationship mistakes
You will be a rare person who’s only ever had one romantic relationship in their life, and even rarer if[...]
Is your dating life too good?
We’re used to hearing tales of woe and difficulty when it comes to dating life. Everyone who has ever had[...]
What to do in a jealous & controlling relationship
In relationships, being protective over a loved one can feel romantic and is often an innocent and welcome signal that[...]
How to have an honest relationship and let yourself go
Once we get to a certain age, not only do we come with invaluable experiences, we come with baggage, the[...]
Yes, you need a therapist
I find it hard to keep company with people who knowingly walk around sporting unresolved issues. I’m not referring to[...]
What we really mean, when we talk about relationships
There’s nothing in your life that you don’t have a relationship with. I’m not usually one to use double negatives,[...]
Don’t give up on your dreams
When I was growing up it was really clear what I was good at and what I sucked at. I[...]
How to leave your partner
Countless people are stuck in partnerships and marriages they no longer want to be in. Countless. The biggest thing they[...]
Blog: Extreme narcissist or insecure?
Today I met with a man I’ve never really liked. I’ve always found him egotistical, a bragger, a namedropper and[...]
A short on: reclaiming your peace
How many of you have been in a completely relaxed, serene place, only to have another person do something -[...]
Confessions of a coach
I have an admission to make and as a mindset coach perhaps it’s one I should keep to myself. I[...]
Have you fallen out of love, or out of sync?
We all know about falling out of love with a partner, the slow deterioration of something that was once all[...]
You’re allowed to say “no”
In some situations, possessing a strong sense of self is needed purely to reflect back the insecurities others attempt to[...]
It’s not about being a real man, it’s about being an honourable human being
For the people who know me, follow me, read my blogs or love/stalk me in any other way, you’ll know[...]
He doesn’t want a baby… do you choose him, or motherhood?
Love has a strange habit sometimes, of providing us with everything we want, whilst simultaneously calling for us to deny[...]
Is he Mr Right? 5 questions to ask yourself
As intuitive and self-aware as you may be, assessing whether a partner is right for you can be a delicate[...]
I’m single, 30+, will I be left on the shelf?
I work with women who think it’s too late to find the happily ever after they’ve always aspired to. The[...]
Why finding ‘the one’ is difficult for you
Most men and women will have an idea or image of their perfect partner, with anything outside of this being[...]
Should you stay with him, or leave him?
These days our requirements for a partner can be extensive. As we become more confident in asking for the things[...]
Single women, these words aren’t helping you
Are you having a hard time finding your Mr Right? Have you been single a while, in and out of[...]
40, single & ready for a baby
So you’re pushing 40, you have no man, and you’re desperate for a child. You’re wondering if it will ever[...]
What you need to know about your fear of rejection
Although a fear of rejection can rear its head at any time in life, as we get older there is[...]
Is he the love of your life?
My partner asked me, am I love of your life? I answered him back, I don’t know yet, ask me[...]
Do you respect your partner’s view of the world?
Today something so ridiculous and so profound happened in my relationship.  It was an argument, well more of a ‘I’m[...]
This is why you push love away
There is a phenomenon in the dating world that can leave some people puzzled with themselves and occasionally the actions[...]
Being an empath… and a good coach
Growing up I used to feel things, all the time, really deeply. I would see something as I walked home[...]
I am confident, I am a mess, I am loved
So for those of you who don’t know – I am a really strong person. I have been through some[...]
How to create a connection with him [Transcript]
Straight away,ask him the questions no one else doestalk about what his dreams are, not just where he wants to[...]
The challenge of asking and receiving in relationships
A lot of us are taught from a young age that we have to work for the things we want,[...]
2 Reasons you haven’t found the one [transcript]
Facebook Live transcript. Original video here: [Start] Hi guys, Tori here, Mindset Coach and Relationship Expert. So I want to[...]
“No man will ever be good enough for my daughter.”
I heard a father today tell his very young daughter that no man will ever be good enough for her.[...]
Why we should love fear
Fear tends to get a mixed reception in the world today, with opinions largely depending on the circles in which[...]
Is your negativity draining the people around you?
All of us, no matter how naturally chirpy, bubbly, light-hearted or fun, can go through moments of negativity. For some[...]
How to keep your relationship private, without it being a secret
Article commissioned by Macbeth Matchmaking For clients enveloped in the world of over-zealous journalists and the desperation of newspapers to[...]
Why people cheat – a thought for today
  When it comes to infidelity, it’s natural for us to first think about how it’s different depending on the[...]
I’m dating a king, and you better know it
  If there’s one path in life that I’ve been able to follow with minimal fear, it has to the[...]
Love, in High Definition
When a certain level of success is achieved in life it’s natural to seek out pleasures as a reward. In[...]
Would you really recognise your soulmate?
Soulmates are seen as the epitome of partners, the people we’re destined to be with and with whom a relationship[...]
Relationships of convenience – how to spot them
Relationships, both business and personal, can be tricky to navigate. There are the relationships in your life that know no[...]
7 tips for when you’ve moved on and someone can’t accept it
We have all, in one way or another, at some time or another, moved on with our lives. It could[...]
How to balance your perspective with other people’s
I am someone who does my best to always look at situations from multiple perspectives, it’s my belief that perspective[...]
The difference between your soulmate and your earthmate
It can be difficult sometimes to have an in-depth conversation about relationships without the mention of soulmates.  We hear a[...]
What to do when you feel stuck in life
Feeling stuck in life is suffocating. When you’re stuck, without motion in your relationships, career or personal life, it can[...]
Why I set no goals this year
  This is the time of year when every second or third article you read is about New Year resolutions.[...]
How to reconnect with your intuition
There are moments in your life when you’ll intuitively know you’re in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. A[...]
How much of a teacup are you?
Everyone likes change, even those who say they don’t are usually referring to the ‘bad kind’. The kind that is[...]
What do you need from your life, to have made it worth it?
There are people who will spend their whole lives with the unwavering knowing that they want and need more from[...]
Not all scars are from healing
I can guarantee you that right now you’re wearing the scars from some unresolved trauma in your past. For some[...]
Feminine Power vs. Feminine Vulnerability
I work in the field of self-development, I live and breathe practical ways and theories on how to accept, improve,[...]
Share your dreams wisely
I was in a coffee shop today, sitting next to what sounded like two work colleagues. They were both fairly[...]
When The Date is Over
There’s a lot of information and advice written about how to find a date, where to have it, what to[...]
Are you losing the competition against yourself?
  There are many high-flying women out here who believe success revolves around taking one’s place within previously male dominated[...]
The Joy of Dating
When people think about dating, it’s very rarely the positive elements that spring to mind.  It has us recalling wasted[...]
Owning Your Dating Decisions
Throughout history dating has always been an important stage within people’s lives, so much so that choosing a partner was[...]
Why You Need Help Finding a Date
When we’re young, the concept of ‘help’ is extremely prevalent in our lives. From day one we’re assisted with doing[...]
Say What You Need To Say
This is a super quick post about saying what you need to say in life.  Maybe you’re in a relationship where[...]
Fear is not the enemy in relationships, it’s your best friend
  So this may seem like an outrageous statement. Fear is something we avoid, right? We don’t like to be[...]
The Key to Balancing Your Busy Life With Your New Partner
Article commissioned by elite match making service - Berkeley International  For members of the dating world who have everything except[...]
New Year, New Thoughts
There is a fundamental flaw in the creation of New Year’s resolutions that most people will miss for their entire[...]
Why Finding The One is Difficult For You
Most men and women will have an idea or image of their perfect partner, with anything outside of this being[...]
Aligning your personal and business values
Aligning the person you are at work with who you are in your personal life is a greatly feared option[...]
The 5 Steps of Change
Change, once you strip out any pressures, baggage, sentimentality or emotions associated with it, is a very straight-forward process. Not[...]
The Art of Fulfilment
No matter how much money you make, how many of the finest restaurants you dine in or the amount of[...]
Self Sabotage
So, there’s this thing. I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time, perhaps even a very long time.[...]
Life at the top of the ladder…when you’re afraid of heights
There is a misconception amongst those eager to ascend the corporate ladder. It is that once you arrive at the[...]
Sticking to your new year’s resolutions
Top Tips for sticking to your new year's resolutions   Tip 1: Make goals a reality When something is important[...]
The questions you need to ask your lover
It’s surprising, how in the age of communication, connectedness and hyper-accessibility, people in relationships still play the guessing game.  We[...]
Love, mental illness and holding space
I have lived intimately with someone who suffers from mania. Onsets would emerge with an almost audible buzzing, detectable only[...]
“Be brave. Even if you’re not…
“Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. Don’t allow the phone to[...]
Is this acceptable?
This is the sentence of the week. The one small question that my clients and myself will befriend during our[...]

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