7 tips for when you’ve moved on and someone can’t accept it

We have all, in one way or another, at some time or another, moved on with our lives. It could be leaving behind an old way of thinking, behaving or moving on from certain people and situations. It can be easy to do, and it can be the hardest thing in the world to do, especially when there remain around you people who are intent on keeping you rooted in the old version of yourself. The version they alone are happy and familiar with.

When you are faced with this predicament, you should remember that honesty and directness will go far in limiting confusion and misinterpretation. You’re not always duty-bound to explain the decisions you make, but when you do feel you must, there are definitely good and bad ways of going about it. Some quick tips below:

  • You need to be really clear with those around you about how you’re different, why and what it means for your relationship with them.
  • Silence can be a fuel, so when you skirt issues, are vague or become primarily concerned with people’s reactions to your truth, you’re simply fuelling any reason they have to fear your decision.
  • Make no apologies for your actual choices, but express empathy at their hurt or upset if it’s genuine for you to do so.
  • Don’t load yourself up with their grief, acknowledge it from a distance.
  • Focus on what your new situation needs for it to be successful.
  • Burning bridges isn’t always necessary. Sometimes they just need to be dismantled and the pieces stacked away in a place you rarely visit.
  • Disengage from conversations intended to punish or shame you for your choice. Do not be a vessel for someone else’s issues or fears. But remain open-hearted, lest you become like them.

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