How to balance your perspective with other people’s

I am someone who does my best to always look at situations from multiple perspectives, it’s my belief that perspective is everything. I believe that in order to live harmoniously with other people it’s vital to always have an awareness, and where possible an understanding, of how they view situations. This includes how they’re feeling, what they’re thinking and any possible reasons why.

When life is approached in this way, a majority of the time it’ll serve us in tempering our responses to difficult situations, those moments that could otherwise have us react rashly, or against our better nature. On other occasions however, it can leave us confused, uncomfortably denying our own right to feel what is in our hearts. This is where a delicate conflict may arise, one between honouring our own feelings and having compassion for another person’s.

In an ideal world, one would hope for complete balance between us all and that we treat each other how we wish to be treated. We know though, that the scales of life are not so equally weighted. Even when someone is doing the very best they can, if that best doesn’t match up to our needs, our response can be harsh. It can vary from mild to severe and because we’re emotional beings, may cause both inner turbulence and external outbursts.

But this is okay.

Sometimes, it is okay to honour the moment, to scream or shout and to be selfish in the face of disappointment. Sometimes, it is the other person’s job to show you the compassion by letting you experience your fears and angers.

We don’t always have the right to expect certain behaviour from others, but we do absolutely have the right to express how we feel, regardless of another’s own history or reasonings. Unless we are mentally unstable or in some way impaired, our emotions are just as valid. At times we must put our own perspective first, in order to remain sane and true to ourselves.

The challenge with perspectives is that there will always be so many, so much so that there are times when the truth of the situation seems almost unobtainable. What is available is only our own human make up and the other person’s. To find any real truth takes a certain detachment or pragmatism and as human beings we’re not all willing to walk this path. At times like this the best that can be done is to ensure we have cultivated enough awareness beforehand. An amount significant enough so that we’re at very least aware of the choices we’re making in the moment, and the perspective from which they stem.

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