Countless people are stuck in partnerships and marriages they no longer want to be in. Countless.
The biggest thing they have in common, is that their only reason for staying comes down to an excuse.
I need him. He needs me.
The kids need us.
I have nowhere to go. She has nowhere to go.
I’m too old.
It’s too late.
We’re both young, we’ll grow into each other.
I won’t meet anyone else.
She won’t meet anyone else.
I like our lifestyle.
I don’t want to be alone.
Endless excuses. So many that I’m not even going to delve into root causes and mindset or perpetuating patterns.
Another time, another place.
I’m just going to give you this task and you can do with it what you will.
1 – Decide and list why you’re staying with your partner.
2 – For each of the above excuses, add the following letter:
‘F’ (for fear)
Se (for someone else)
For example, if “now is not the right time”, think about why it’s not the right time. If it’s “because of the kids” put Se, if it’s because you “don’t want to be alone” put F.
3 – By each one, write what’s the best thing that could happen if you left.
4 – By each one, write what’s the worst thing that could happen if you stayed.
5 – Take some time to appreciate the vast possibilities between 3 and 4. When you get comfortable in that space, go.