There is a phenomenon in the dating world that can leave some people puzzled with themselves and occasionally the actions of others. It happens when we meet someone who appears to be a perfect fit for us but for some reason we a) ignore the connection b) focus on something petty or c) outright push them away.
Let’s talk about one of the reasons we do this.
The most damaging reason we do it is out of fear. Fear of being hurt (again), fear that it’s too good to be true (and so we’ll end up hurt), fear that it is true and we’re not ready for it, fear that it’s true and we’re not good enough for it.
You’ll see the theme here is fear.
I want you to think of fear as a lodger in your home. Some of us have lodgers who are always out and who never give us any trouble. Others have lodgers who are home for every meal, waiting to be fed, awake into the very small hours, loudly playing indecipherable music.
It’s your job to take control of your home, to take control of the people you allow to enter it and to stay.
When you push someone away who deep down you know is good for you, take it as a crystal clear signal that you need to heal. Specifically, you need to heal the part of you that is unready for your own greatness.
So what are you going to do about it?
There’s a huge difference between a person who rejects Mr or Miss Right because they’re not yet done playing the field, and one who rejects them because they fear some aspect of a good relationship.
Be honest with yourself about which one you are. Recognise that you have underlying beliefs or traumas that are steering you.
Deal with them, and stop playing the cards they’re dealing you.
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