When it comes to infidelity, it’s natural for us to first think about how it’s different depending on the gender of the person doing the cheating. We’re also influenced by our ethnic backgrounds and the cultures we’re part of, meaning that further distinctions are made about why cheating happens and the damage it causes.
What very few of us do is look for commonalities or shared experiences of what it is for a person to cheat on another. We divide and categorise the human race in the hope that by separating and labelling people, we’ll whittle life down to a simplicity that is more manageable to understand, accept and live with.
So here’s a thought: what is more useful perhaps is to consider the reason why us humans, as a whole, have issues with infidelity and then to focus on addressing this, rather than topics of gender, race or anything else an individual has no hand in.
If we look at the needs we all have, for significance, attention, security, power, love and the reasons behind self-harm, low self-esteem, low-awareness, addiction and dishonesty, we’re more able to discuss issues from a place of compassion rather than judgement. With compassion comes the space for true understanding. The results may not be as easy to accept, but it gives us the tools to truly enhance and aid our connection with each other.